Category: Chemo Log

Why They Wanna See my Spine, Mommy? AM I GONNA DIE?

Like many of you, the thought of a SPINAL TAP completely freaked me out. We’ve all heard horror stories, we all know the cultural stigma (like a root canal, but so much worse that people don’t even joke about it), and we’ve all heard Ween’s drippingly creepy “Spinal Meningitis.” Well, we probably all haven’t heard that song because it’s completely insane and obscure (which is how I like my musics to be). If you didn’t take the time to listen to it, or just couldn’t get through it because you’re a wimp, it’s sung from the perspective of a little kid who is experiencing the fear of an impending spinal tap.

Why they wanna see my spine mommy?
Why they wanna see my spine?
It’s gonna hurt again mommy
Much worse than last time
Am I gonna see God, mommy?
Am I gonna die?
It really hurts mommy!
Am I gonna die?
I’m feelin’ greasy mommy
Please don’t let me die
Stinky vaseline mommy!
Please don’t let me die

Continue reading Why They Wanna See my Spine, Mommy? AM I GONNA DIE?

Chemo Sesh #1: lolcancer

chemo 1
lolcancer… is that all you got?

Uh, what’s the big deal? I thought this shit was supposed to be the worst thing ever. I mean, it’s basically a consensual holocaust of all the living cells in my body. I didn’t wake up bald, impotent or grey-skinned today… In fact, I woke up early, feeling like I won the lottery while getting laid last night!

Actually, I was told that the first round wouldn’t bother me. The only side effects I had were peach-colored urine (yes, this is a sexy cancer blog) and a metallic taste in my mouth. I took two IV drugs last night called Vinccristine and Daunorubicin. I don’t know what they do and I don’t care, because what difference does that make? I trust the super brilliant and talented staff here: They give, I take. They say, I do. My life philosophy was the exact opposite pre-leuke… And it has been liberating (have you picked up on my recurring theme yet?)

Continue reading Chemo Sesh #1: lolcancer